The college admissions essay is your opportunity to distinguish yourself from the mob of applicants. Follow these steps and stand out you will!
You will need Laziness a bad attitude and no problem with plagiarizing.
Step 1. Don’t give the essay a moment’s thought until the night before it’s due.
Step 2. Write down whatever the heck you feel like, paying no mind to the suggested topics. Shouldn’t schools value creativity? Ignore instructions about word length, line spacing, and margins.
Step 3. Halfway through, prepare a snack to help you think more clearly. Doze off for a while. Don’t be concerned if a little pizza grease ends up on the essay. Admission counselors know that genius can’t be found on an empty stomach.
Step 4. Phone all your friends and classmates to ask what they said in their essays, but never get beyond the topic of the cute substitute chem teacher.
Step 5. Borrow the book report that earned your fifth-grade sibling an “A.” Incorporate any plot summary into your essay, tweaking some details to make the story your own.
Step 6. Mail the essay without letting anyone review it.
Step 7. Don’t let it bother you when you receive a rejection letter stating, “We found it interesting that your life so closely mirrored that of Johnny Appleseed.” That’s a compliment—he’s an American icon! Did you know More than 50% of college applicants are rejected by their first choice school?

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